Observations

A list of things I have discovered while living away from home.

1. Lifts generally do not work in halls of residences, are noisy, have somehow been used as a toilet and will be directly in line with your bed.
2. Thanks to the ’80s electrical heating system, and shoddy double glazing your room will have a complete inability to keep a constant temperature.
3. You want to hoover your room, but no hoover bag will be supplied (like it was meant to be) once the bag which was in the hoover when you moved in is full.
4. Employees think that European and International human rights laws do not apply to them and will enter your room without notice, permission or in fact knocking.
5. Jesus does not make your flatmate unblock the shower drain blocked by her hair.
6. Jesus also does not make her do/help with your washing up if she knows that you are/were sick/drunk/hungover/tired/randomly worried or all of the above, even if she complains about you not having done the washing up in X amount of time.
7. You will be skipping several meals because your flatmate is going to be cooking just as you are hungry enough to do the same. Said flatmate will then not tidy up, leaving things on the stove and effectively blocking you from cooking anyway.
8. The same goes for washing up, you will want to do the washing up but the other person will ve doing it or has left their crap in the sink. Do you move it or do you wait for them to finish it as the damn thing is still full of water? Note that women will not understand that their actions are the reason for you not doing your own washing up.
9. You will find that all the hot water has been used up when your turn finally comes, and as you are the only person to switch on the hot water tank you will have to wait for the water to heat up and most likely forget about it again once it is hot.
10. Flatmates and their significant others will take up the kitchen cooking, eating and generally not getting the hell out of there and washing up when you want to cook/wash up.
11. People are extremely unhygienic to the point that they will defecate in the fire stairs.
12. Fire alarms will be set off on purpose at 4am.
13. Luckily people who defecate in stairwells do not think about setting off fire alarms at 4am.
14. Just because you are familiar with certain fundamental concepts does not mean that anyone else is.
15. If the extent of certain people’s stupidity amazed you at school, prepare to have your mind blown.
16. Finding the minimum amount of sleep needed to function during one week will dramatically change the next, and is quite hard to work out again.
17. You will spend at least ten minutes of your life whilst drunk trying to prove to other drunk people that you are German when they don’t believe that you are.
18. You do get access to expensive subscription services and scientific papers.

Coming soon, 100 thinks Skipp…Andreas is not allowed to do at University.